Tips for the Toddler Tantrum Phase

The tantrum phase in toddlers puts many parents to the test. Anyone with toddlers knows the scenario: the little one throws themselves on the floor, screams, and starts crying bitterly. If you’re dealing with such a little terror at home, your child is probably in the tantrum phase. Now it’s time to stay calm and composed. Not so easy? We help parents understand this developmental step of their child. We also offer some helpful tips on how parents can calmly get through their little one’s tantrum phase despite regular outbursts.

Why is the tantrum phase so important?

Life would certainly be easier for parents without it. Still, the tantrum phase is an important step in a child’s development. The little ones begin to develop their personality. The “tantrum” should not be seen negatively at all. Rather, children learn here to act independently and stand up for their own will. Mom and Dad should take this into account and let the little ones be a bit defiant sometimes. During this special time, many circumstances come together that require parents to show a certain amount of empathy. On the one hand, the little ones still have no understanding of spontaneous changes of plans. When something doesn’t work as it should, they are often overwhelmed and don’t know how to handle the situation. Their ability to express themselves and clearly communicate the problem to the parent is also still lacking. Likewise, their motor skills are not yet developed enough to take on some tasks independently.

When does the tantrum phase start? When does it end?

The behavior of little ones during the tantrum phase can vary greatly: from crying fits to aimless hitting, everything is possible. As with many other things, every child is different. Even the youngest can show signs of rebellion before the official start of this developmental step. But between the second and third year of life, the little ones begin to use not only the word “No” but also “I.” These words often indicate a change in personality development and mark the beginning of the related tantrum phase. This phase can vary greatly in intensity and duration for each child. In most cases, the tantrum phase ends around the age of five. Of course, stubbornness can still be found after that, but (hopefully) not to the same extent.

What can go wrong during the tantrum phase?

One thing is clear: the tantrum phase should not be taken personally. Parents should always keep this in mind. To get through the tantrum phase calmly, there are some strategies that can make the phase more pleasant for both children and parents:

• Stay calm
  Remain calm and always treat your little one with respect. This way, Mom and Dad model positive behavior and show how to handle difficult situations calmly.

• Clear rules
  Structure, consistency, routine: when these are in place, the little stubborn one has a certain security that can help calm them. However, there shouldn’t be too many prohibitions, as the child needs to test their limits. It’s important to weigh which rules are essential.

• Acknowledge feelings
  The little one is developing their personality. Therefore, it’s important to positively reinforce this. Meeting the child halfway and making compromises strengthens and promotes their self-esteem.

• Offer alternatives
  Closely related to compromises are alternatives. For small matters, sometimes give the child the power to decide. Don’t just say “No,” but maybe show the little one an alternative. Maybe it doesn’t have to be a sweet dessert every time? A few orange slices or an apple taste good too.

• Identify triggers
  When it’s clear why a tantrum occurs, parents can counteract in future situations. Classic example: the child wants to tie their shoes alone, but Mom and Dad are in a hurry? Next time, give a heads-up earlier so the child can calmly practice tying the bow and you won’t be late for your appointment.

• Don’t give too much attention
  Not every tantrum is equally serious. Soothe yes, but don’t coddle! Too much attention can act as a catalyst.

Calm through the tantrum phase – distraction can help

Nevertheless, every child is different. It can take some time for parents to find the right approach. Clever distraction tactics can also help during the tantrum phase. Your little one wants to eat sweets again? Maybe their favorite toy can help here. The family business howa offers wooden toys that encourage creative play. The range includes walker wagons, motor skills cubes, dollhouses, play stores, play kitchens, and much more. All toys comply with European safety and quality standards (EN71) and can help parents stay calm through the tantrum phase.

Image rights: © iStock / Antonio_Diaz